Sometimes I think he posts these things just to see if anyone is paying attention. Let’s start with a quick quote, shall we?
Ladies, please note that this is strategic advice. You don’t have to be a Christian or a conservative or a pure-as-driven-snow virgin — although it would be better if you were all three — to benefit by putting your vajajay off-limits until you can persuade some
horny foolrespectable gentleman to make the pledge of “forsaking all others ’til death do you part.”
This is complete bullshit – naturally. Guys marry when they are ready to marry. If the mood hits them in a whorehouse, then a whore they shall marry. It’s some kind of chemical imbalance thing that makes absolutely no sense what so ever. It’s not the length of the relationship that matters or whether you wait to have sex, it’s all timing. Men run out of clean clothes and food and suddenly any woman looks good to them. That being the case then I suspect that was just a lead in to this:
Making the decision to keep your britches on henceforth does not require you to make a moral judgment about your sexual past. Even if you spent your teenage years slutting around like Meghan McCain after four margaritas, this doesn’t necessarily make you a bad person — unless you start writing ill-informed RINO political commentary for Tina Brown’s Daily Beast, in which case, you’re a total whore with pustulent chancres.
Now I’m less than impressed with Miss McCain’s forrays into the media spotlight and I admit I’m pretty pissed that she seems to think she’s speaking for conservative women everywhere – she’s not. She’s a complete moron, but a slut? I kind of doubt it.
McCain’s post just gets weird from there …. until he gets down to this quote: “If you can conceive it and believe it, you can achieve it.”
I have to agree with that. I’ve seen it myself dozens of times. It works with nearly everything except dieting. But there you have it – go read the post and make of it what you will. If you are a 31-yo woman recently dumped by a long time live in here’s some actual advice from a woman who has seen this many times. Don’t kill yourself look for that next guy. Take up water skiing or sky diving or archaeology or something – anything – you’ve been denying yourself because of that last asshole you were dating. If you are out doing things you love you will run into guys who love the things you are doing and if one happens to be ready for marriage? Well – there you are. It’s not you. Unless you are a skanky whiner bitch who is miserable for the sake of being miserable – it’s not you. It’s probably not even him. Move on. Let him go. Life is waiting for you – go live it.
Related
McCain’s post got the ladies riled, I must say.
Cassandra has a great post over at Villainous Company. I think she is dead center on why women lose a relationship once they are in one.
Little Miss Attila started a converstion over the three key issues: Morality, Psychology or Economics. I don’t think I’ve ever tried to separate it out like that. Economics? If you love someone you love them regardless of the money. Money comes and it goes and if you are worth your salt you will keep plugging away, building that nest. So if you are marrying for money then you are doomed to disappointment. Now if he’s a lazy SOB then that’s on you for bad judgement.
Recently:
- Update on Old Story
- Carpet Quotes
- OMGWTHBBQ LMAO!!!!
- A Reminder
- Moving On
- Mike Church has lost me completely
- Saturday Blog Sift
- Anyone else watching Beck’s Revival on Insider Extreme?
- Would rather talk about anything else but …
- The ICE Scandal – random discussion
Comments
This entry was posted on Saturday, October 3rd, 2009 at 8:04 pm and is filed under Reading. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
Updated to capture the link. Thank you!
The essential problem, BOR, is that so many people spend their entire youth either (a) in a relationship or (b) seeking their next relationship. They fail to develop emotional independence, and feel incomplete is they aren’t in a relationship.
This makes them them vulnerable to exploitation. Their dependency, their lack of self-sufficiency and confidence, is like a homing beacon for users, guys seeking that any-port-in-a-storm situation to tide them over until someone genuinely exciting comes along.
It has been my opinion for many years that people are too optimistic about human nature, and fail to achieve what they might because they recoil from the cynical insight that other people are essentially selfish.
If you will begin by asking yourself, “What’s in it for him? And what’s in it for me?” you will automatically be much less vulnerable to scams and hustles. The “relationship” scam — i.e., the guy stringing the girl along with the semblance of togetherness, until he spots a better opportunity elsewhere — works entirely to the advantage of the male, while causing the female to squander her youth on a worthless scumbag who doesn’t actually even like her, much less love her.
The only way a single woman can win that game is to refuse to play it. And thus my advice to the young lady about keeping the cow in the barn. Better to be alone than to be a chump.
I am going to guess that your six are a mix of boys and girls. I have one of each. So. I am guessing you are probably keeping your own kids in mind as you ponder this topic out loud – as am I. With all due respect, though, I think you are mixing sexual promiscuity with the very different issue of self-respect. While a woman with zero self-respect would stay in a bad relationship and\or have sex with any guy that asked her – women who hook up on a dime are not necessarily doing so because they have no self-respect. For that matter, fewer and fewer women are looking to get married anymore either – but that is another issue. There are so many things in this discussion that I could isolate and concentrate on it’s daunting. I think I will stick with the cow thing and address the rest in a full on post at some later date.
About the “bad relationship”. Let’s be completely honest here – a woman who settles like that clearly has never had great sex. Most women stay with guys like that because they do not know any better and have no idea that somewhere out there is a guy capable of giving her multiple orgasms every single night. There are couples completely oblivious to the fact that the world is falling apart because the sex is just that great. Women sticks with guys who kind of suck because they figure they are a safe bet and will eventually realize they are not that great a catch and so they should settle. Thus we are talking about a woman who just doesn’t want to work that hard to find a great guy and probably doesn’t deserve a great guy. It’s the Peter Principle for relationships. We rise to the level of our own bedroom incompetence. It’s very likely SHE hasn’t done her homework over at Ellora’s Cave either. You would be very surprised at how many solid Christian women write into Ellora’s Cave authors thanking them for the great advice and inspiration. Their men are pretty grateful, too.
I guess what I’m really trying to say in a round about way is – withholding sex to manipulate a guy into marriage is wrong.
If you want to, and he’s not disgusting, and you aren’t hurting anyone else by doing it – then do it. But don’t play games you aren’t really into with men. This is 2009. Women with even a particle of self-respect do not play men like that even if they can. It’s bad karma.
BTW – I’ve been married for over twenty years and never been tempted to cheat probably because I tried a few out until I met the guy who rang bells I didn’t even know I had.
My advice to your 31-yo friend stands. Get out, do things you’ve always wanted to do – basically enhance your own life until you are happy with it – the guys will flock to you. I’ve seen this work over and over again. You cannot hope to make someone else happy until you are happy yourself. When it comes to sex? In this day and age – trust but verify.
I think you are mixing sexual promiscuity with the very different issue of self-respect…
Bingo :p
Guys tend to think everything is sex. But sex – even for guys – is just part of the package. In the end, people take you at your own valuation.
If you want respect, respect yourself and if you want to be happy, take responsibility for your own life.
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